200 days: How not to train for Ironman

Let the real training begin...

Massages. I think I had five or six of them on this journey. My first was in China, and after one hour and 6 bucks I thought I might never go back ... it was just too painful and not that beneficial. Boy am I glad that I changed my mind and went for another round in Thailand. They may have been a bit more expensive (8 – 10 bucks/ hour) but man were they good. I had a traditional Thai massage, an oil massage, a foot massage, pedicures, and a manicure that all came with light massages as well. Amazing.

Bangkok. This city is big, and full of people and smog. However, tucked away in its belly is a city that appreciates good food, good quality massages, and some markets that would keep most people interested in walking just a bit further to see what is coming next. On the last day in Thailand, I was able to run around a city park that is reminiscent of central park in New York, as well as go to a very upscale mall, walk through a market, get a massage, and stroll through a nightclub street that would be a must hit area for those interested in bending their mind, or tilting a glass. At the end of the row of bars was a makeshift tent on the side of the road that anyone over 6 feet could simply look into. For 5 baht (15 cents) you could go in the small enclosure and go to the washroom in a bucket. There was a puddle of something all around it, and the smell was not good. The photo op, however, was priceless.

Beijing. The first of three flights and a 36 hour journey home took me to this glorious city that was host to the 2008 Olympic Games. After a little confusion getting through customs and immigration, my bff and trusty traveling sidekick/ hostess and I made our way to a cab to take us into the city. After 30 minutes, and 8 bucks, we just got dropped off at the nearest subway station so we could avoid the rush hour traffic that was carrying millions of commuters in to work Monday morning at 8:30. My first experience in a Beijing subway train did not disappoint. There were so many people waiting to get on the train, and when it arrived I was sure we would have to wait for the next one because it was full. Really full. The doors opened and five or six people got out of the door we were lined up for, with twenty other people. The next minute was something I shall never forget. We were pushed into the train by workers of the subway! There was no room at all between the people. In fact, nobody had to hold on to any rails or anything as the pressure from other passenger’s ensured nobody would move if the train came to a sudden, complete stop. Gill couldn’t move not only because of the people but because her backpack was caught in the door of the subway. She was actually one of the last people that were forcefully pushed into the train by the staff! The city was a highlight of my trip. Tiananmen square, the forbidden city, a cool mall complete with Starbucks and a great food court, a street market, the birds nest and water cube from the Olympics, and the hordes of people I saw all made the day really special. I even saw a street meat vendor offering four live scorpions on a skewer for those interested. Not for me thanks, but another good photo!
I am writing this entry somewhere over the Pacific Ocean as we make our way from Beijing to Vancouver on our way home. After this 11 hour flight we have a 10 hour layover there where we will meet both our sisters and go for dinner before going back to the airport for a late night flight back to Calgary. Real life awaits, and Ironman training has to resume. I did several workouts and logged many miles of foot traffic, but the training I had hoped to accomplish simply had to take a back seat to the adventures and experiences that made up this detour.

2011 started out badly, as previously referenced in earlier entries. A once in a lifetime trip to Asia was my chance to turn things around, and start new. I don’t think it is entirely coincidence that the New Year began in early February in Asia as soon as I Ieft Calgary. The Chinese visa office was closed for two days to start the new year of the rabbit, and the second day of the closure was the first day of my trip. This once in a lifetime trip actually convinced me that it was in fact the first of several trips I hope to make to Asia in my life. And as my new year began badly in North America, my new year in Asia was met with wonder, excitement, and adventures that are so exciting I look forward to the year of the rabbit. I just hope that now I can train to do Ironman like a rabbit, although my speed and body now closely resemble that of a turtle. 21 days, three countries, 6 hotels/ hostels, 3 travel partners, 1.4 billion new friends, and so many memories ...

There is a book I have read called “The Alchemist”. It is about a guy who travels the world to look for treasure. He sees a lot of new places, meets a lot of new people, and eventually realizes that the treasure he was seeking was actually at home all along. This trip reminds me of that a lot. The year started badly, and I went searching for some treasure. After an amazing trip filled with some great memories, I now realize that the treasure I was seeking was actually at home before I left. In fact, it was there at the start of the year that I thought had started out badly. Thanks Gill, and all the people that made this trip so amazing and possible. I will treasure this trip, my friendships, and relationships much more as a result. I said it before, and I’ll say it again ... Let’s do this thing!

I was ready to leave Hong Kong. Great city, heaps of things to do, but it was time. China was such an incredible place, and I was so thankful to have experienced it. However, Thailand has been on my bucket list for so long that I found myself looking forward to the relaxed atmosphere and friendly people for a couple days before we left Hong Kong. I was also looking forward to meeting a long lost friend in Thailand, who came all the way from Minneapolis to see me and my friends. Yes, Thailand was going to be great! If only there was a way to spend the 30 cents of Hong Kong currency we had left, the trip would have been perfect so far ...

After waiting for Barry in the Bangkok airport for a couple hours, we quickly reconnected with each other and made our way to get a cab to Pattaya. Pattaya is a city that is 90 minutes from Bangkok. We negotiated a cab from the airport to Pattaya for 4 people and two drop off locations for 1700 baht ($55). In hindsight, I wonder if the cab driver would have agreed to the fare if he knew he would have to spend the next 5 hours of his time and pay for the cab rental, gas, and two highway tolls for the money. I think it might scare me to find out how much he actually made for all of his work ... it couldn't be much! And he was sooo happy. The directions I had to the resort we were staying at were bad ... really bad. Even the name ofthe resort was wrong. The cab driver drove around hopelessly with us in the car looking for the place. We stopped and talked to locals, he called someone on his cell phone, and we drove around Pattaya looking for a resort that doesn't exist. He may have spent the better part of an hour looking before he called a service, gave them the address i had, and was told that the address wasn't a hotel at all ... it was a condominium. As i had booked this through my timeshare, I told him to go there and look at it anyway. We finally arrived at Pattaya Hill resort at about 4:30 in the morning. Exhausted and grumpy. The cab driver, conversely, was in such a great mood that I couldn't help but smile and be thankful he never threw us out in the middle of the night.

Pattaya may not be the best place to go to get a first impression of Thailand. For that matter, it may not be the best place for aliens to land and get their first impression of humanity! The place is almost exclusively built around sex tourism. There are more ladyboys there than anywhere else on the planet apparently, and they mix in well with the thousands of women who are looking for love to support their families at home. There is a stretch of pavement, maybe a mile long, called Walking Street that has no fewer than a couple hundred bars. People are everywhere, and there are dozens of sex shows advertised that have things in them that would make hardcore perverts blush. No thanks! And there is no shame in this from anybody there. And I quickly found out who the target customers are ... men traveling alone or in groups of other men. I spent every minute there with the two girls I was traveling with. Nobody approached me. However, one day when the girls went in to a store and I continued on my own, I was solicited about twenty times in one minute! I went back to the girls and told them to stay twenty feet behind me while I walked alone on the street. They were amazed as well. Men, you can go here anytime for an ego boost ... all for the low cost of your dignity.

But enough about that, there are other things there that I will treasure forever. We went to an elephant sanctuary one day and rode elephants! We also saw monkeys, went to the beach, had amazing massages, ran along the ocean, hung out with Barry, and ate some of the best food I have had in a long time. The food available from street vendors is so good. Fresh delicious mangos, pineapple, watermelon, all less than a buck. Noodles, chicken satay, and so many other delicious options are plentiful and so, so cheap. We also rented scooters to get around. They were awesome, but did create one intereting night. On our way downtown one night, we stopped at a red light. Normally the right thing to do, but we didn't realize that we stopped on the wrong side of a crosswalk. The police, on the other hand, did notice. The policeman took the keys out of our scooters, took my drivers license, and wrote us tickets. The only way to get your ID back is to drive the scooter, without a license now, to the police station where you pay your fine and then return to the scene of the crime with a receipt. This was perhaps the hardest part of the trip as we doidn't understand the language and got lost on the way back to the intersection. The $25 in fines were nothing compared to the price of our time and fear of not knowing if we would ever get the ID back. Oh, and Barry thought we were jerks because he was waiting for us and eventually gave up thinking we were rude. Sorry pal!

We were supposed to stay in Pattaya for all of the time in Thailand. However, it was just not our scene. We took a ferry for 4 hours to Hua Hin, which was an excellent decision. Totally different place. Very family friendly, awesome beaches, greatr people and food, and a relaxed atmosphere that was more like the Thgailand I expected. At night, the streets came alive with street vendors and a night market that the girls took in with a vengeance. I was transformed into their mule, and had the time of my life doing it. We spent a day at the beach with monkeys all around. It was overcast out, but that didn't stop all of us from getting really burnt. Another massage ($10 for an hour), great street meat, and a great time. After a few days there, it was time to get back to Bangkok so we rented a cab again. Thgis trip was twice as far as the first cab we took for 1700 baht to Pattaya. However, the price for this one was 1500 baht! People, go to Thailand!!! It might cost a few bucks to get there, but your vacattion will probably cost much less overall by the time you get home.

Here we come Bangkok!

After spending a week in Yangshou and Guilin, a person from Canada changes. You have a whole new appreciation for things you never had before you went there. People. Culture. Food. Attractions. Pennies. Yes, pennies ... it makes you cheap! During my stay in Guilin and Yangshou, I bought many new clothes and other things. I had the best pedicure I had ever had. It lasted 90 minutes. The man who did it was so thorough that I decided to give him a 100% tip when the bill came. Total cost of the manicure, with tip ... $9. Dinner out at a restaurant was around $5 for anything you want. Everything is so cheap, and negotiable. I found myself bargaining for everything, and leaving items that were just too much money. Then I would look back and realize that I was spending ten minutes in a heated exchange to try and save 50 cents. Not a proud moment.

Hong Kong, by comparison, is a much more advanced and commercial city. After arriving in a place called Shenzhen, we took a bus into the huge metropolis of Hong Kong. As soon as we left the subway to go to our room, we were constantly innundated with people trying to sell fake watches, handbags, and custom made clothes. The markets in this place are incredible. You will go down a street and there will be the same items being sold at a dozen shops in a row! Luggage, 10 different stores in a row. How do these people stay in business? There was a mobile phone market that had at least 100 stores in it ... that only sold cell phones! Hard to differentiate yourself in that crowd. We went to the ladies market, where sadly I purchased more stuff for myself than the two ladies I was with. But the deals were so good! A new triathlon suit, complete with great bike shorts ... $30. Shirts, shorts, and other clothes started to fill up bags. And then I had to buy another bag just to carry my new purchases around. Vicious circle. There was a night market, sporting goods market, goldfish market, ladies market, and cell phone market just to name a few. The neon lights in HK rival and probably surpass anything you would see in Vegas. Non stop commercialism, with plenty of knock offs to go with it.

All trinkets aside, my mission in HK was to get some camera equipment for my father. After much research, I was able to find one store that was significantly cheaper than all the others. Thinking the deal might be too good to be true, I researched the internet to see if there are any scams to be concerned about. THANK GOD I DID. I went to the store and made the deal. 10,000 Honk Kong dollars ($1,300 CDN) for his stuff and a new camera for me. They asked for my visa. I told them I wanted to see the products and make sure they were new and what I wanted before I would pay. They would not do it. They told me, after ten minutes of discussion, that they would not deal with me because I didn't trust them. I then found out that they didn't have the product I was looking for, and would have given me much cheaper product. Scam. I ended up getting it elsewhere, at a higher price but still a good deal I hope.

Hong Kong had so many things to see and do. And people! I ended up seeing so much, and even made a day trip to Disneyland. Not something I would normally do, but had a great time doing it. The skyline on the harbour is an incredible sight, and we were able to see what Guiness holds as the record for the largest continuous light show, which has lasers and other lights going crazy on the skyline every night. And even though every day was filled with miles and miles of walking, I was able to do a run along the harbour on the last morning, which is something I will never forget. We left 12 hours before 30,000 people were about to start the Hong Kong marathon, which I would love to go back for one day and do myself.

Time to go to Thailand. Three people, and four days in Hong Kong. At the airport in Hong Kong, we bought a few beers and an ice cream before the flight to Bangkok. Total amount of HK currency left when we boarded the plane ... 30 CENTS combined. After being transformed into the cheapest people in China, we felt like we had gotten ripped off because we would never be able to spend that cash that sat in our pockets as we flew to Bangkok.

28 hours after leaving Calgary, I had spent a great day with my sister in Vancouver (Thanks V V!) and had been up most of the night on a flight to Beijing. At 5:30 in the morning (Beijing time) I arrived for the first time in Asia. One more check on the Bucket List (BL). I had heard about the masses of people in Beijing, and was expecting to be surrounded by people. I left the plane and was quickly whisked away in a VIP bus to the teminal from the tarmac. I later found out that I was supposed to wait for the common people and get on a mass transit system. However, they mistook me for a first class passenger and treated me like I was. Bonus. I proceeded into the airport and felt like I was the only person in China. This was because of the fact that I walked faster than everyone else on the VIP bus and there was nobody else in the terminal ... NOBODY! I walked through the first security checkpoint and made my way to the luggage collection area. There were 30 - 40 carousels there, and the room was about the size of two football fields. I am the only person in the entire room. China will be a breeze. However, I quickly realized that I was the lone drop of water that foreshadowed the tsunami of people that were coming behind me. I suspect the airport opens at 5:30 AM and I just happened to be the very first passenger in the terminal. Within five minutes, I was surrounded by at least 10,000 people that were collecting their bags from flights all over the world. I have not been alone since. There are 1.5 billion people in China, and I feel as if I have seen most of them now.

Bye Beijing, hello Guilin! After 2 more hours of flying I reached what I thought was going to be the end of a long, long day of travel. I got off the plane in Guilin, jumped on a bus for 30 minutes to the city, and then promptly got on to another private tour that had been arranged. This tour cosisted of a 90 minute drive to the Li river, near a town called Yangshou. We had a driver, our own van, and an English speaking guide. Once we arrived at the river, we immediately got on to a bamboo boat (our own) and had a glorious trip up and down the river with our own personal driver who operated the motor and steered us around. The river trip was 90 minutes. Then we were met by the driver and guide, who had waited for us the entire time we were on the boat. They took us into Yangshou and dropped us off. Toal price for the three of us to do that entire package ... $36 each. Cheap. It gets better. We then went to the place where we would sleep for the next four nights and checked in. The room was small, but comfortable. It was in the centre of the action on a place called West street. The price ... $4 each per night. We toured arounf the city and ended up at a spectacular show that the people of Yangshou put on. There are 400 - 600 performers, and the show rivals any of the best shows I have ever been to. $25. Time for bed now Michael ... you have been awake and active for the better part of 50 hours.

Yangshou is a place that everyone should go to in their life. the people are friendly, the food is great, and there are so many things to do. I climbed up a mountain side at a place called half moon hill, actually climbed up the side of a mountain while rock climbing and rapelling down, went cormorant fishing beside the locals who have been doing this for years. This is a practice that has a fisherman on a bamboo boat with a couple dozen ducks. the ducks swim in the water and catch fish. However, there is a piece of string around their throats that prevents the fish from being swallowed. The fisherman somehow knows whenever onr of his ducks gets a fish and then pulls the duck back to the boat where he makes the duck spit out the catch. Impressive, if not sad for the ducks!

I was able to train a bunch as well! A few great runs, a bike ride for a few hours out to the mountains, rock climbing that is exhausting, and several miles of walking every day. Maybe not Ironman training, but good cardio for sure. The food, as I mentioned above, was awesome. We did go in to one restaurant that offered dog meat in a pot, and I made everyone get up and leave as soon as I seen it. We left back for Guilin, where the noodles and street meat were amazing. i was lucky enough to be traveling with a girl from Denmark who is studying in Shanghai. Here knowledge of the language, as well as the street meat and food, was great. Without her, I would not have dared to try most of the things I ate. Thanks Eva!

Bye Guilin, off to Hong Kong ...

2011.

Not a good year so far. It started with me being sick over the holidays. I then found out about an illness in my family that will change things forever. Then I was in a car accident. Extreme lower back pain, and whiplash. Daily chiropractors, massage appointments, and pain that puts my training on hold. My personal trainer, and bff, leaves for a long journey. My car is written off. The course I am registered for in University is cancelled. I am on a diet now as the lack of training has made me fluffier than I need to be. It is January 14th ...

Shake it off Michael, you have a full Ironman to train for! After 6 weeks off of regular training because of the above, I was able to slowly start training again with the nagging pain of the car accident constantly reminding me what an idiot I was to sign up for this thing in the first place. Thanks Tara and Aundrea ... I will get my revenge! All I need to do is break this down ...

Ironman:

3.8 kilometre swim. 180 kilometre bike ride. 42.2 kilometre run.

Personal bests to date:

3.0 kilometre swim. 95 kilometre bike ride. 21.1 kilometre run.

If I train for an average of 2 - 3 hours/ day until the event I should be alright provided I don't injure myself along the way. As long as I focus solely on this and don't get distracted I can cross the finish line, get my tattoo, and never speak to Tara or Aundrea again. Ok, to be fair, I will talk to them again. They are my triathlon buddies that do a great job of keeping me motivated and keeping me company as we train for this event. However, I will never talk to them about another Ironman. That much I know.

Focus Michael, FOCUS!!! Wait, what was I talking about?

Asia, baby, Asia! I feel like I have the focus of a small child chasing a butterfly on a windy day in the park. I know I need the laser like focus of a heat seeking missile, but sometimes life gives you an opportunity and you just have to take it. I have an opportunity to go to China and Thailand for three weeks with day trips in Vancouver on each side so I am making off like a bread thief in Baghdad. Fast and furious. I plan on training every day while I am gone, with the exception of travel days that simply won't allow me to do it. On Monday I leave at 1PM from Calgary, and arrive in Guilin China 30 hours later after stops in Vancouver and Beijing. No workouts then!

It is February 5th now. 200 days left to train, and I am committing the first 21 of them to a trip to Asia. This sounds good now, but I may regret this decision in late August! Let's do this thing!